Today it was announced that my employer at last has cracked the Fortune "100 Best Places to Work" list. Sure, we're 98. But at least we're on the list. To see if your employer made the list, click here. Here are a few suggestions for moving us up the list for next year:
Handsome stewards in the employee fitness center, offering spritzing and iced Gatorade
Valet parking at my building
Office decor make-overs by Queer Eye's Thom Filicia
Casual Tuesdays (and Mondays, Wednesday, Thursdays and Fridays)
On-site foot massage therapists
Year-round 50-percent discount at campus bookstore
Really good sushi restaurant in my building
Mandatory annual retreat in Fiji (families included)
On-site coffee baristas to make my morning Machiato
Yoga studios installed in every building
Office chairs replaced with large rubber workout balls
Dr. Phil on site to mediate issues with difficult co-workers
Annual bonus based on niceness (i.e., how many times you brought in cupcakes)
Cheery bathroom attendants
High tea every afternoon
Funny hat day
Segways for all!
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